11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
1 Kings 19:11-12
There is a deep silence that haunts me more often than not.
For a while I wondered if I was hated because I felt this silence.
I was judged for admitting I felt the emptiness.
But I’m not alone in the silence.
Mother Teresa felt it.
Ingmar Bergman felt it.
It is even possible that the disciples on the hill in Matthew 28 felt it.
I think that if most are honest with themselves all have felt the deep aching silence that haunts the soul.
That numbs the mind.
That instills fear.
The emptiness of existence is quite a burden to bear.
I often wonder why, if He exists, why is He silent?
When an innocent family is killed by a drunk driver the silence rings through the air.
When religion is more oppressive than liberating.
When tornadoes, suicide bombers, tsunamis, nuclear bombs, and the genocides occur, it makes one wonder, where is He?
But the silence can show up in other places too.
In smaller moments.
In more private spaces.
When life seems too harsh to have a happy ending.
When your prayers feel like nothing but whispers that get whisked away by the wind.
Yet His Silence is not all bad.
For I’ve found…
It is Silence that keeps us humble.
It is Silence that keeps us open to mystery.
It is Silence that draws us to grow closer with one another
It is Silence that prompts us to encourage each other
It is Silence that forces us to suffer together
That is the power
~ Andy Motz